Dear God #2
Dear God,
It's been awhile.
A lot has happened since my previous blog post about my bible study. I feel like I experienced so many things but I feel the need to downgrade what I'm going through. Since I'm one of the younger people out of my age group, I think that my struggles aren't really anything and that the older people are going through so much more. They are in high school, college, learning about their future jobs, applying to colleges, and e.t.c. I don't want to share that I'm having a hard time because other people are too. Saying that I'm in middle school makes everyone automatically think about the default personality of a 13 year old girl. They go through hardships and drama with friends. Especially in those t.v. shows where the main character always has the enemy that used to be her friend in "the eighth grade". I'm very sensitive and in most cases people view that as weak or annoying. Like the "mean" girls, or should I call them the insecure ones. But it scares me to think about how they seem to not have (or hide at least) their own emotions and think that they can do whatever they want. If another girl annoys them they can just fight them if they want to. If they don't want to do something they can say "screw this" and do what they want to. They seem not to care but I do. I care if I lose a friend even if they didn't treat me right. I may seem weak but in my view point, not fighting back isn't weak. It's a choice that you can make and I can see what would eventually be better anyway. I wouldn't want to cause drama and hurt other people because I'm annoyed. That seems a little selfish but of course in the world's point of view that would seem to be the right thing to do. In fact, my so-called-friends would probably congratulate me for standing up for myself. Maybe this is just my view point and "tougher" people won't understand. There so many points that makes me wonder about people in general. I realize that I need to pick my friends wisely. What kind of people though? If they aren't perfect I can't just toss them out. I guess God is telling me to start praying for my friends. I also need to learn how to pray for myself. Growing up in church it's always long prayers with people not really listening. In fact they are trying to figure out when it will end. Or maybe they close their eyes but they actually fall asleep. I never really knew why prayer was so important until I became older. The older you are, life hits you harder, and prayer life needs to become bigger. I'm not saying that I'm going through the most difficult time of my life, but I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes. I really saw who my true friends were. The ones that were always there and I am so thankful for her. Thank you for giving her to me as my friend because she gives me a lot of Joy. (Haha, Joy).We've been through life together (just 13 years) and in the future I hope you would give us individual knowledge about things that we could share with each other. Another one is not only my friend, but my sister. Through her I really see God's grace. She is very wise about middle school things :) and I'm grateful for the age gap. The strongest friendships were the friendships that were with me through my young spiritual life. Even though I had great times and laughter with other people, most of the time the friendship is based on gossip or other things. That is a dangerous, shaky foundation that sooner or later will break apart. The rock-solid ones last forever because we have faith in You. Thanks for teaching me a lot of things, Father. I've been patiently awaiting for new lessons even if I'm blinded by the world sometimes. It takes tears and hardships but everything has its own purpose. So, indeed. Patience is A Virtue.
It's been awhile.
A lot has happened since my previous blog post about my bible study. I feel like I experienced so many things but I feel the need to downgrade what I'm going through. Since I'm one of the younger people out of my age group, I think that my struggles aren't really anything and that the older people are going through so much more. They are in high school, college, learning about their future jobs, applying to colleges, and e.t.c. I don't want to share that I'm having a hard time because other people are too. Saying that I'm in middle school makes everyone automatically think about the default personality of a 13 year old girl. They go through hardships and drama with friends. Especially in those t.v. shows where the main character always has the enemy that used to be her friend in "the eighth grade". I'm very sensitive and in most cases people view that as weak or annoying. Like the "mean" girls, or should I call them the insecure ones. But it scares me to think about how they seem to not have (or hide at least) their own emotions and think that they can do whatever they want. If another girl annoys them they can just fight them if they want to. If they don't want to do something they can say "screw this" and do what they want to. They seem not to care but I do. I care if I lose a friend even if they didn't treat me right. I may seem weak but in my view point, not fighting back isn't weak. It's a choice that you can make and I can see what would eventually be better anyway. I wouldn't want to cause drama and hurt other people because I'm annoyed. That seems a little selfish but of course in the world's point of view that would seem to be the right thing to do. In fact, my so-called-friends would probably congratulate me for standing up for myself. Maybe this is just my view point and "tougher" people won't understand. There so many points that makes me wonder about people in general. I realize that I need to pick my friends wisely. What kind of people though? If they aren't perfect I can't just toss them out. I guess God is telling me to start praying for my friends. I also need to learn how to pray for myself. Growing up in church it's always long prayers with people not really listening. In fact they are trying to figure out when it will end. Or maybe they close their eyes but they actually fall asleep. I never really knew why prayer was so important until I became older. The older you are, life hits you harder, and prayer life needs to become bigger. I'm not saying that I'm going through the most difficult time of my life, but I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes. I really saw who my true friends were. The ones that were always there and I am so thankful for her. Thank you for giving her to me as my friend because she gives me a lot of Joy. (Haha, Joy).We've been through life together (just 13 years) and in the future I hope you would give us individual knowledge about things that we could share with each other. Another one is not only my friend, but my sister. Through her I really see God's grace. She is very wise about middle school things :) and I'm grateful for the age gap. The strongest friendships were the friendships that were with me through my young spiritual life. Even though I had great times and laughter with other people, most of the time the friendship is based on gossip or other things. That is a dangerous, shaky foundation that sooner or later will break apart. The rock-solid ones last forever because we have faith in You. Thanks for teaching me a lot of things, Father. I've been patiently awaiting for new lessons even if I'm blinded by the world sometimes. It takes tears and hardships but everything has its own purpose. So, indeed. Patience is A Virtue.
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